American and The Russian
by pengirl100and2
Summary: When Alfred F. Jones must find love or be cursed forever... well, the title says it all. Inspired by Beauty and The Beast. More information inside.
1. Once Upon A Time

**SO, yes, first I make a Spamano version of Goldilocks and now I'm making AmeRo or RussAme (whatever you wanna interpret this as) Beauty and The Beast. What is wrong with me, I don't know XD**

**This is more like sorta-kinda Beauty and Beast with lots of plot twisting, it's not exact. I'd recommend watching the Disney movie before reading this, but it'll still make sense if you don't.**

**I have this all pre-written, so updates should come either once or twice a week. I'll usually put an author's note at the beginning and end, in bold. **

**Without further ado, please read, enjoy, and review! :D**

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><p>Once upon a time, in a far away land...<p>

There lived an American...

Once, on a stormy night, he had many people visiting the castle. There was a knock on the door amidst all the noise, and the American answered the door to see a hideous hag with fat eyebrows.

She stared a second and then asked, "May I spend the night, away from this storm?" Lightning bolt snapped behind her. "N- wait, you aren't secretly like a magic witch are you?"

"No. But in exchange for letting me stay, I will give you~" from the folds of her sleeve she pulled a single, flawless sunflower.

"Uh, no." The American said with a shiver.

The hag squinted. "I'll ask you once more. Let me stay."

"No."

"Fine." With a great swoosh of ratty fabric and sparkles, the hag transformed into a man... who still had the bushy eyebrows.

"You're a dude?"

"I have seen-"

"Hey, you said you weren't magical!"

"I said I wasn't a witch. Witches are female. As I was saying. I have seen your nature, for you refuse to let a helpless old woman-"

"Wait, why were you all magicked into a girl?"

"Stop interrupting you bloody git! You refused to help me when I needed it, and I know there is no kindness in your heart, s-"

"What? That doesn't make any sense. A dirty hobo asked me to come in, for all I knew you were a murderer~!"

"SHUT UP! Now. This is a magic sunflower. My spell will only wear off if you have love, and true love's first kiss-"

"But that's so girly..."

"-before the last petal falls."

"Wait a secods, what spell?"

The magic man squinted, and threw his arm up in the air.

Another bolt of lightning silently lit the sky, and the silhouette of a green bunny flying towards the top of the tower was shown for just a moment, before the thunder sounded. T

he castle seemed to explode in a furious, windy gust, and the smell of mint whipped through the castle, as windows shattered, and shingles were torn from the roof.

A single howl rose from the people inside, and in a shower of light, all changed.

Magic hit the Englishman before he could back away, and he changed.

The American transformed last, and he reached down to carefully lift the magic flower.

He had until the last petal fell to find love... to renounce his form.

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><p><strong>Really short, I know, but future chappy's WILL be longer, I promises.<strong>

**(Table of Characters) (so far)**

**America = Beast**

**England = Magical**

**Flying Mint Bunny = I guess like magically flying to cast the spell? Dunno, just wanted him in there x)**

**MVF (Movie Versus Fanfiction)**

**Not much, only major change is that Alfred's having people over and that the rose from the movie is now a sunflower (FORESHADOW *caff caff*)**

**Pretty pretty please with rainbows and c****herries and world history on top, review review review? :) Than ya bunches, ciao!**


	2. Enter The Princess

**Hola, moi beloved readers! If anyone's out there.**

**Thanks you lots lots lots to my two reviewers! I'm posting this like four hours after I said I would... ah well. It is life :)**

**And now, a chapter. Much longer than the first, I might add.**

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><p>Ivan stepped out of his tiny house and began to walk softly up the dirt path, clouds of red dust rising under his foot's touch.<p>

As he walked, he sighed. "Little town, its a quiet village. Every day, like the one before. Little town, full of different people, waking up, to say..."

"Bonjour!"

"Bonjour!"

"Bonjour!" "Bonjour!" "Bonjour!"

He sighed, looking up. "There goes the baker, with that tray like always, same old breads and such to sell... Every morning's just the same, I think it is quite lame, every day is identical to me..."

"Hello Ivan!" A woman called, waving.

"Hello, Miss Jo. How does it go?"

"What now?"

"How are you?"

"I'm fine~ Marie! Come along!" Miss Jo pulled her daughter away down the cobblestone street, towards the school.

Ivan sighed and walked on.

Two old women, scraggly gossipers, whispered behind closed hands as he passed. One said, "Well now we know, that man is strange, no question, I wonder if he's doing well~?"

The other replied, "Even in the summer and the night, he wears a thick scarf that is white, what a puzzle to the rest of us, Ivan..."

He whirled on his foot to see behind him, but the old women were knitting. He shrugged and continued on his way, through the ruckus of town and a small conversation off to his left.

"Bonjour!"

"Hello!"

"What are you doing?"

"Taking this vase!~"

Ivan pushed the attempted thief back to the market stall and sighed, "There must be more than this provincial life!"

The library's bell rang, and the owner looked up."Ah, hello, Ivan. Back already?"

"It would appear so." He dropped the book on the counter and scanned the few shelves. "Anything new?"

"I'm afraid not..."

"Thats fine... I'll take this." He pulled a tannish paperback down."Actually, it appears you never returned your last book late; you can't check anything out until you pay the fine."

"But I really want the book now." He smiled at the tiny librarian, who swallowed and stepped back.

"O-okay then, it's yours."

"I know."

"No, to keep." If it kept the strange person away... He was scaring everyone away.

"Really? Thanks!" He walked out, pocketing the novel.

A group of people who'd watched this exchange from the window began to sing as Ivan walked by. "Yes we all know Ivan is strange, no question, I mean just look at how he acts~!"

A second group of people nodded and sang as he passed by. "Always in a coat~ carries a pipe that belongs in a boat, how scary to the rest of us Ivan~!"

He sat on the edge of the towns one fountain and smiled as the town sheep herder guided a group of sheep down Main Street. "Oh, this towns, amazing... But not in a good way~!" He watched one of the sheep glance at him and trot quickly away. "Even the animals don't like me..." He walked past a tiny house, where a blonde was pressed up against the window.

"Did you see, did you see?" The blonde squeaked.

"Yes, Natalia, I saw. Ivan walked by." Her maid sighed.

"I love him so much!"

"Isn't he your brother?"

"So? He's perfect.."

"That's creepy."

"He's the best. And I deserve the best." Natalia pulled a knife from her apron pocket and dragged her finger along the blade.

The maid eyed the knife. "Um, yeah, uh-huh, whatever you say~!"

Natalia burst out the door, knife in hand, and grinned. "Right from the time I was born, I loved him, I said Big Brother marry me! He was stubborn, don't know why, but very quite sure am I, I'm making plans to marry Big Brother Ivan." She tried to chase him through the dense crowd.

A trembling trio stood in the corner, pumping water into wooden pails. They watched The Village Lunatic Natalia chase Ivan down the street, and joined the town's singing. "We don't, know what, she sees in him. He's a, bad boss, terrifying. He's weird and scary, tall, pale, awful~"

The crowd was a jumble.

"Pardon!"

"Madame!"

"Ten yards!"

"Oh!"

Natalia called. "Please let me through!"

"No sir!"

"That's bad!"

"I've lost my way!"

"Please, please, please sir, sir I say~"

They were all unified again. "Well we all see Ivan is strange, no question, he's a funny Russian man... He's violent with a scarf of white, he told his sisters 'Take a hike', he's really such a funny man, a cutie but a funny man, just a peculiar sort of person~~ Ivaaaaaaaaaan!"

He stopped and turned to see all the people who'd broken out into song behind him, but they had melted back into a chatty blend. He squinted at their forced casualness, muttered under his breath. "Kolkolkolkol..." His mood was not improved when he turned and found himself being crushed.

"Big Brother!"

"Nooooooo... Get off me."

"Why can't you see my love for you is real, big brother?"

He tried to pull away, but froze, feeling something sharp against his back. "Let go."

"I'm not letting go. Big Brother, just marry me!"

"No!" He squirmed out of her grasp and took a few steps back before sprinting away.

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><p>"Oh! Bonjour, mon ami!" The cheerful voice rose from the basement.<p>

"Hello, Francis." The stairs creaked under his feet.

"How was town?"

"I don't like it here."

"Le gasp! How dare you insult my country!"

"Eh."

"Better than freezing to death in Russia."

"If you ever mock Mother Russia ever again I will personally make sure you bleed slowly to death." He glowered at the Frenchman, whom shuddered.

"Well, did you pick up the book you wanted?" When Ivan stayed silent, Francis turned around, raising an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Tell Papa Francis what's wrong..." He gagged and lied. "It's nothing." _Just my little sister. And everyone in town thinking I'm evil._

He nodded "Look, it's perfect!" He pushed a vase forward. His beaming face was strange, compared to the ordinary thing in front of him.

"What am I supposed to be looking at here?"

"My masterpiece!" He gestured around the vase again.

"...It's just some roses."

"Just some~" He scowled. "It's the finest bouquet I've ever made!"

"...?"

"The state fair starts tomorrow. I'm going to enter the flower showing."

"With a bouquet of roses."

He huffed. "Yes." He lifted the vase carefully.

With that, he packed his bags and the vase, and began walking down the dusty road, away, into the sunset.

Except, Ivan reflected, unlike how it was supposed to be, the person going into the sunset was not a hero.

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><p><strong>Russia just wants his hero~ *smacked dead by RochuUsUK/other pairing fans***

**TOC**

**Russia = Belle/Beauty (MANLINESS)**

**France =** **Belle's father/Papa ****(I had to XD)**

**Belarus = Gaston (? Spell check on that, anybody?)**

**Baltics = Cameo role in place of the three idiot blondes who coo over Gaston in the movie. This isn't the only time they show up, *teensy spoiler alert* Liet shows up again later.**

**MVF**

**SO YES, as you've seen in this chapter, I am re-writing (most) of the songs from this, except our protaganist Ivan realizes the oddity of having people sponataneously break into song. I mean come on, anybody who's watched Jennamarbles' genius video about the Disney movies gets it. Singing in public is awkward. Oh, and a warning? Jennamarbles cusses quite frequently and strongly and also does some inappropriate video content (I mean that in the France sense) so do not watch if trying to avoid that. Back on topic, um, in the movie Belle is given a book for free because she loves reading, but Russia gets it because everybody is freaked out by him and the librarian needs people to come and prove renting books isn't dead like renting movies. (NETFLIX KILLED BLOCKBUSTER. JUST SAYIN.) France isn't really an inventor so I changed the inventor bit to he's making a bouquet since France... roses... yeah.**

**Pretty please review? The first to were such wonderful concrit it made my whole week. Pretty please review? The review button summons you O.o Pretty please? :) Ciao!**


	3. And They Meet

**Hello, dear reader! Very long chapter, so I'll keep this short with a longer note later. Please, read, enjoy, review~!**

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><p>The next day, he tended to the animals alone. "Actual farm animals," he muttered. "Nobody has farms anymore." He tossed another handful of seed to the chickens.<p>

There was an insistent knock on the wood gate behind him.

"Oh, Little Sister. What an unpleasant surprise," he said, seeing the little blonde relative leaning against the fence. "Why are you here?"

"Just marry me, Big Brother. Please?" She hopped the fence and more tackled than hugged him, pinning his arms behind his back. "We can become one, a unified couple of love!"

"No. You're scary, now go away~!" Ivan wriggled out of her grasp.

"Why don't you love me, Big Brother?" She asked in a crazed hum. "We would be so happy together!" She continued, an evil gleam in her eyes and her knife looking particularly sharp.

"Go away now please~!" Ivan went inside to dial a number into the antique phone.

"I'll never leave you," she slowly said. "Ne. Ver."

He heard someone on the other line pick up. "Hello. Police. I'd like to report a violation of a legally binding order?"

A few minutes later, the navy uniformed cops were wrangling the crazy blonde into the police car.

As they pushed her into the seat, she squealed. "I will marry you one day, Big Brother! I will!"

They slammed the door shut and drove off.

Ivan picked up the bow that had been ripped from his sister's head. "Why can't my family be normal?" He picked up an escapee chicken and mocked the recently arrested crazy. "Brother~ Hello~ please marry me!" He knocked over the bucket of seed by accident. "Yeah right~ as if! I don't think so!"

One of the goats pushed past him. As he followed it, an immense wind rushed up, trying to knock him down. He stopped chasing the goat, spread his arms, spun and fell back into the swaying gold grass. "I want away from this boring village~ I want to escape and be free!"

A puffy white dandelion brushed his nose, and his song softened. "I have no one to talk to here, everyone just looks at me with fear..."

He scattered the dandelion's white seeds, and sighed. "I want so much more from life than here..."

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><p>Francis Bonnefoy was walking down a dark path, clutching a dim lantern and a vase, shivering in the chilled air. "Maybe I missed a turn." He held the lantern higher.<p>

He came to a split in the road. The signposts' paint were bare, impossible to read. Both paths looked the same, with eerie branches spiking overhead and darkness at the end.

He sighed. "I guess I'll go this way..." He started forward again.

It started slowly, just a few drops at a time, but then it began pouring, harder and harder, cold rain exploding in the many trees. A bolt of lightning forked through the sky, and the thunder exploded low and loud. _Boom_!

He shivered and began to hurry. A gate became visible at the end of the path, and he came up to it, shook the iron bars. "Hello? Is anybody there?" He shook the bars again, and with a snap, they popped open. Cautiously, he stepped up the wide path. Lightning cracked again, and showed a tall, gray castle, of cold stones, built on the edge of a cliff.

He walked past the pole with a tattered, dangling America flag and pushed the wooden door open. "Hello?" Silence was the only response. "Hello...?"

He heard a mutter from across the room. "Just keep quiet aru. Not a word, aru."

"Is anybody here? I'm lost and it's storming badly..." He stepped inside.

"Oh, come on, aniki. Look at him. It's pouring out." Another mutter came from the corner of the room.

"Who's there?" He shut the door behind him and came over to examine the table. It was an odd combination of items: a stuffed plushy and a long sleeved shirt, just laying around.

"Not one word, aru..."

Was it his imagination, or did the plushy just move~?

The shirt pushed itself up with it's sleeves, like invisible arms without hands. "Oh, it'll be fine." The shirt turned to face him. "Welcome to the castle!"

Francis gaped. "You're~!"

"Crazy sexy? I know." The print of a smiley face on the shirt grinned wider, put one sleeve on a shoulder and the other on the bottom of the shirt, where it might rest on a hip. "Although I don't even get legs, which is annoying."

The stuffed animal stood up and waddled over, pushed the shirt over. "Great aru, now you've done it aru~"

"This is impossible!" Francis put a hand on his forehead. "Maybe I stopped at a bar on the way here..."

The plushy turned to face him. "Much as I wish it was, this isn't an alcohol dream aru. If it was I'd have woken up already." It might have been scarier if it wasn't a Hello Kitty doll.

"How are you doing this?" He picked the Hello Kitty up and shook it. Didn't sound like it had mechanics.

"Hey! Put me down aru!"

"Yeah! Leave aniki alone!" The shirt jumped up and made a sad attempt at a tackle. It was more like the world's softest hug. The shirt continued to talk, muffled, into Francis' chest. "Hmm..."

The plush wriggled free, and pulled the shirt off as it fell down. "Enough from you, aru." It made a little scowl. Which ended up being pretty cute on Hello Kitty's face.

"Look, can I just stay here until the storm is over?" Who cared if it was a crazy castle. It would at the least be entertaining.

"Sure!" The shirt said, beaming. "Follow me!" It bounced away into the other room.

As Francis followed, the Hello Kitty was toddling after. "No! No aru! I really don't hink this a good idea aru! Are you even listening aru?"

"Sit here," the shirt bubbled happily, pointing to a fat chair.

He began to sit down.

The door was opened with a bang, and a cold draft blew through the room.

"Eep!" The shirt and the plush both scampered beneath the chair.

A figure stood in the shadows. "...Are you a criminal?"

"No..."

"...You're just a regular person?"

"Yes..."

"...Sweet!" The shadowy figure took a few steps forward. From what he could see, the person looked normal enough; a blonde with glasses, a ratty leather jacket, and a baseball cap placed carefully on his head. "Dude it's been like forever since somebody came to visit!"

"Who are you?" Apparently the castle of random talking objects had an owner.

He heard the shirt mutter; "See, aniki? Those sexy as I are always right. It's fine." He smirked.

"Oh. I'm Alfred. Alfred F. Jones," the person announced, smiling way too hard.

"What's your na~" Halfway through the word, another burst of wind came through. The baseball cap was blown away, and Alfred immediately clamped hs hands on his head.

"Whats the matter?"

"Uh... Nothing..."

"...Move your hands." Slowly, deliberately, he lowered his hands.

Francis sucked in a strangled breath, and stared in shock. Clear, protruding from the top of Alfred's head, were two cat's ears. He noticed for the first time, the person had no ears~ only a blank patch of skin. He tried to look down, away, but his eyes only caught on a fat tail ending around Alfred's knee~ it twitched slowly, a poof of cheetah fur to match the spotty ears.

"You're a cat~!"

"Partially a cat," he stressed, "And you can blame Arthur-"

"You're a freak~!" He gasped, backing away from the person in front of him.

He took another step forward into the light, and Francis noticed the eyes were a cat's, too, a cold blue with a black slit in the middle. The tail ticked with every word. "I'm not a freak, I'm a victim of freak magic. You are a trespasser, and for that I have the right to throw you in the dungeon~"

"Oh, lock me up with handcuffs and throw away the key," Francis teased, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

"...You can crack sick jokes all you like in your cell," he finally said calmly, clapped his hands twice. Two faceless hat stands snapped to attention and began to drag Francis down the hall.

"Wait! I have rights! Let me go!" He protested, being pulled roughly across the stone floor by hat stands.

...He really hoped this was a bad dream. -

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><p>"You! Goat! Wait!" Ivan chased the stubborn goat. This wasn't funny. It was getting dark, and rainy. The stupid animal was going to get eaten. He scrambled over yet another muddy boulder.<p>

"Baa," the goat bleated, and nimbly picked it's way down the rocky hill.

He followed it. "Here, goatie, kolkolkol..."

The animal evaded him, leading him deeper and deeper into the woods, while the rain came heavier.

Ivan began to sprint after the animal, which ran farther away from him.

In frustration, he screamed. "YOU STUPID GOAT!~"

His foot caught on a tree root, and he flew through the air, adreneline spiking and he crashed into a solid iron bar gate.

At first he lay still.

A moment later, he placed a hand on his ribs.

"Ow," he whispered with the little air he had left. The wind was knocked out of him. "Ow."

He lay there another moment before he felt something hot and salty on his mouth... Blood. Dripping down his face from a cut somewhere, and maybe his nose, which felt crushed.

He lay there under the rain, until finally he couldn't hang onto conciousness any longer.

He blacked out.

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><p>Something cold was pressed against his forehead. And his eyes. Nose. In fact, his entire face. Covered in the calm, cold thing.<p>

He tried to stretch. Shooting pains went through his torso, and he stopped.

"I think, he's like, totally waking up!"

"Shh..." the pressure on his face changed and something began dabbing at his nose. "He's probably going to be scared aru..."

"Vhatever. If I vas you I vouldn't vant to stand zat close to an injured person just vaking up."

The dabbing stopped.

He slowly moved his hand, pulled a cloth away from his face, and when they adjusted behind his lids... He opened his eyes.

There were no people around him. So who had been making all that noise? A stuffed Hello Kitty was on his stomach and a wooden ruler was leaned against~ he was on a bed, and there was a ruler propped against the headboard. The room was bright... White sunlight, white walls. A pink wardrobe oddly close to the bed.

He pushed himself up, blinking.

_It's too quiet,_ he thought, before the plushy tumbled off his stomach and broke the silence.

"Ow," it peeped, stood up, dusted itself off with nubby hands.

Ivan pressed a hand to his forehead. He had banged his head pretty hard... Maybe this was just an unpleasant hallucination.

"I was totally right." The wardrobe suddenly said, opening and blinking eyes that he'd thought were just decorative wood spheres.

"This is impossible," Ivan said, more to remind himself than anything else.

"Like, totally," the wardrobe sighed, and tipped over to lean against the bed beside him. "But, here we are!"

"I hate being a stuffed animal aru." The cat complained.

"Shut up Yao. Ve all know you love being 'Shinatty-Chan'." The ruler hopped up. "Besides. You have it lucky. At least you have arms and legs!" It hopped in a circle, lost balance, and fell over.

"Uh... This is great and all, but I like sanity, so I'm going to leave now." Ivan got up and began creeping backwards towards the door.

"Like wait! You should like get totally away from the door because-"

The door behind him opened and slammed into the back of his skull.

He blacked out again.

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><p>Alfred stared in horror at the person on the carpet. "Crap! Did I do that?"<p>

"Pretty much aru."

"That's too bad... He like, just woke up, too..." The wardrobe picked the person up and tossed him back on the bed.

A frying pan hopped in, using it's handle as a leg. "The prisoner finally shut up!" It chirped happily.

The ruler sighed. "Knowing you, he's not only quiet but bleeding."

The frying pan sniffed, it's stern face seeming so out of place on the flat metal. "I do not approve of such inappropriate jokes."

Alfred placed a fingertip on his mouth and watched with interest as the unconcious one breathed slowly.

His tail twitched up, and a bare purr rose from his throat.

Nobody spoke, object or person.

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><p>Ivan woke up again. The same people... Plus one. A blonde bending over him with a soft smile. "Am I still dreaming?" He sat up again, watched as everyone leaned back to give him space. Great. Now there was a talking frying pan, too. And the blonde had cat ears and tail. And freaky eyes. "Maybe I ate something rotten."<p>

"You're not dreaming," the frying pan called.

"Really? Guess it should be obvious, I'm surrounded by talking inanimate objects and Cat Man. Kolkolkol..."

"Omigosh yes! He gets it!" Cat Man threw his arms up in the air and began pacing. "Not cat! Half cat! Mostly man!" He stopped and stood still, considering. "Hmm. Cat Man. Not really my thing." He stook his hand out at Ivan. "Alfred F. Jones."

_Ah, screw it._

He shook the extended hand. "Ivan Braginski."

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><p><strong>AND SO THEY MEET! Sorry it took me so long, IggySwitzy ;3 Speaking of reviewers, thank you times a billion to IggySwitzy, Niji-chi, and Aurora rose1001 for reviewing, it's so awesome of you and I appreciate it beyond words. *dramatic mushy moment*<strong>

**TOC. We meet a lot this chapter!**

**Russia = Belle **

**Belarus = Gaston**

**France = Belle's father**

**America = Beast**

**China = Hello Kitty plush doll. Aru.**

**S. Korea = Smiley T-shirt **

**Poland = Pink wardrobe**

**Germany = Ruler (He's a pretty strict guy, and everything has to be in order. Plus think of ruler like leader, so... I thought that would be him)**

**Hungary = Frying pan (Nuff said.)**

**MVF**

**So in the movie, Belle's father (I refuse to type 'Papa' *shudders*) is thown in the dungeon for simply intruding. Alfred's pretty lonesome, so he doesn't do this straight away, but his pride is wounded by the insults, and the innuedoes push it over the edge, so dungeon he goes. And let's get the elephant out of the room, here and now. I cannot make Alfie a beast. I am cruel to my characters (hehehe) but I simply cannot make myself type about beast!Alfred. I went the cute route and kitty!Alfred is born. Slightly offtopic, there is an excellent USUK story titled 'Meow' by lovenyami about kitty!England- anyways... And in the movie, Belle volunteers for a lifetime in the dungeon in exchange for her father being set free, but here I took the poetic license to change that for no apparent reason at all.**

**Pretty please with sparkles on top, review? I appreciate concrit so much.**

**Ciao!**


	4. Dinner and Conversations

**Another long chapter. Please enjoy! :)**

**3/31/12 Update: Thanks uber much to Severitis for correcting my faulty French, glad someone pointed that out :D**

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><p>"You have an actual farm?" Alfred asked as they walked down a massive hall.<p>

"Da."

"Nobody has farms anymore."

Ivan blinked at his own words, repeated unknowingly back to him. "Well, we do, I guess."

"We?" Was it his imagination, or did he look the tiniest bit~ sad?

"Me, and my friend, Francis."

"Fra~" he stopped and turned around, walking for a set of stairs.

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><p>The air in the basement was cool and damp, the walls covered in a thin sheen of water.<p>

Something coughed in the corner, and he squinted to see what.

Suddenly, his vision adjusted and he could see clearly. "That's him~!"

"Ivan?" Francis rasped, coughed again. "Help, mon ami..." he wheezed, on hands and knees. "I have been trapped here for weeks..."

"You left the farm yesterday."

He scowled. "Fine, maybe it's only been a few hours... Still! I am about to die of thirst!"

"You have a full vase of water right beside you."

"And let mon flowers die? Never." He hugged the vase tighter.

"This is your friend, right?" Alfred interrupted.

"Yes. He's no harm to you."

Francis, at this, opened his mouth to speak, but something was gleaming behind Ivan's back, and it was safer to remain silent.

"Okay... I trust you." He swung the door of the cell open, releasing the prisoner.

"Finally! Now. I am off to the Fair!" He stumbled up the stone stairs, easy to hear clumping down the hall and then out the door.

They stood awkwardly for a moment, and then Alfred looked back at Ivan.

"Wait~~"

"Da?"

"~~~Please stay. Even just for dinner."

"...Da. I will."

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><p>In the town's small jail, Natalia was pacing her tiny cell. "Rejected! Arrested! REJECTED!" She instinctively reached in her pocket, but her knife was confiscated. "I can't believe the humiliation I am expected to endure!"<p>

"Hey, you got it great," a prisoner beside her lectured. "You're getting out soon~!"

"Yeah but-"

"And I'm here 'til next week!" Another complained.

"But-"

"And the food here is gross!" A third pitched in.

"Ehhh!" she finally shrieked and shut them all up. "But I'M here because he doesn't want true love!"

"Who?" "Who?" "Who?"

"My brother. Ivan." She sighed and traced his name into the dirty floor.

"Brother?"

"Hey, if it's love, it don't matter," someone said, although from the slur and the tone it was probably a drunk.

"I just~" she frowned. "It's not fair."

"Gosh Natalia you disturb me a lot, wanting your brother really is wrong." One of the inmates began in a low chorus.

"If only you would quit judging me guys, Brother Ivan is all that you could want." She sang back.

"Take any person from town and they'd argue with you, they'd agree you're a little crazy. You're alarming and violent and creep us all out, and its not hard to see why..." They responded and paused for dramatic effect.

"She's a stalker, a tracker, an absolute creeper, she won't leave her sibling alone," one teased.

"Yeah what's up with that, girl, you know thats disgusting, its also pyschologically wrong!" Another called back.

"Okay, a tune that does nothing but put me down is not one I want to hear," Natalia snapped back, promptly ending the spontaneous song. She sat curled in a ball, grumpy expression on her face.

The officer walked in with a slip of paper. "Okay... Natalia Braginski? You're released?"

She snapped to standing and walked out of her cell with a swing in her hips, pausing to look back only once. "I will prove you wrong. And I will. Marry. My. Big. Brother." On her way out she snatched up her knife and slammed the door, leaving creeped out prisoners and a cold draft behind her.

* * *

><p>"Ve~ why couldn't we have had pasta?" A small pot asked meekly.<p>

"Because they didn't want pasta." The shirt replied from the corner.

"He wanted~ ugh, I can't even say it." Yao poked the food and turned suddenly to the frying pan watching on the floor.

"What?" She asked with false innocence.

"You know what aru. Why can't you help aru?"

"I refuse to let that touch me. It's disgusting." She sniffed at the food.

"Then we should make pasta~"

The other objects all spoke in unison. "No!"

A squishy tomato stress ball rolled across the floor. "Will it be ready soon?"

"Vell~" the ruler began.

"Shut up, potato bastard, I wasn't talking to you!" the tomato squeaked.

"It's almost done aru." Yao poked the food again. "No thanks from Elizabeta~"

"Never." She scowled.

A little red blanket crawled into the increasingly crowded room, and it's foldy face curved up when it saw the stress ball. "Lovino! Mi poco de tomate!"

"I am not your little tomato, dirty Spaniard!"

"Ah, but you ARE a tomato, and you ARE little, and you WILL be mine~"

The tomato somehow turned redder, and lacking a good comeback, rolled away.

The blanket followed, calling cheerfully after it. "Mi poco! Wait!"

"Antonio, you bastard, I swear..."

Alfred walked into the kitchen. "Hows it coming, you guys?"

A teapot hopped in, too, and the food went up in flames, burning black.

"Arthur!"

"How many times have we told you to stay out of the kitchen!"

"Ve~ it smells gross..."

"Well, I'm sorry-"

"You burnt them~?" Alfred frowned.

Ivan walked up with his eerie smile. "That's okay. I hate hamburgers!"

In exaggerated horror he turned. "What?"

"They're lumps of meat and grease with ketchup. I mean, at least add cheese."

"Fine. No dinner for you."

"What~?"

"You can try a hamburger or insult them and starve. Your choice."

He turned and began to walk off.

"You're kidding, right?" Ivan watched his figure walk away before he turned to the objects in the kitchen, bewildered. "Is he serious?

""Ve~ it's hard to tell sometimes," the little pot confided good-naturedly.

"It doesn't matter," the shirt said with an eye roll. "You're not going hungry. Food was invented in Korea and you gotta have some."

"Food was not invented in Korea aru!"

"There's no proof that it wasn't~!"

"The point is, you're our guest, and you should feel welcome here," the teapot interrupted.

"This means I do get to make pasta!" The pot cheered happily, but paused and squinted at the teapot.

"What?"

"Get out~ you'll burn it."

"Gits." The teapot stepped just out the door.

"Yay!" The pot hopped under the faucet and filled up with water, resting on the stovetop and pulling boxes of noodles out of thin air.

The rest of the objects began to bustle about, pulling out utensils and napkins, plates and pans~

"My friend Ivan you see!" Arthur announced grandly, tugging the human's foot and leading him down the hall. "It is with great honor we welcome you here tonight!"

They entered a dining room.

"Please sit down! Relax! And enjoy as we present~" A few objects hopped in behind them carrying plates. "Your dinner!"

The food was set down with a light tap of china on wood.

"Be... Our... Guest, be our guest, put our service to test! No one's gloomy or complaining~"

"Unless Iggy's the one cooking!"

"Please hush up, you know my food is fine!"

"Well besides from that, there's a lot to be had, be our guest, be our guest, be our guest~!"

The dishes were uncovered one at a time.

"Chinese soup~"

"Potato, vurst~"

"Paaastaaa!"

"Our food's the best!"

"No, not yours..."

"Exactly, ze best is not burnt!"

"I'm leaving now, Ludwig, you git!" Arthur hopped away.

"Well anyway, be our guest, for the rest, of the day!" Elizabeta sang.

"It's night," Ivan pointed out quietly, wondering why all the people in his life lately had these elaborately planned out music numbers.

The shirt suddenly sighed, and moaned. "Life is so boring, in a castle, when its pouring~ the rain comes down so hard and cold! We needed something, something to do! Most rains, we mope around the castle..." He perked up happily. "Then you showed up all injured, there was fin'lly someone new!"

"Oh Yong Soo, don't be so blue, and being happy that he is hurt is sick (aru)~!" Yao sing/lectured. "But we're happy that you're here, it was something we began to fear!"

"What?" What did they fear? Not him, right? He'd just gotten there...

"That no one would come, come in time to break the spell (aru)~"

"What spell?" This had something to do with the possesed things, didn't it.

All the objects suddenly shut up.

"Way to go, Yao."

"Uh~ my, it's late, aru! Now its off to bed aru!"

"But~"

"BED!" They all scampered, disappearing from the room in nanoseconds.

He sighed and turned to leave. Hmm. Where to go now?

He wandered the dark, gloomy halls. Cobwebs and spiders decorated the corners, dust thickening the air with rancid smells, paintings on the walls half-shredded in screaming, ugly colors.

The most frightening thing to him was tossed carelessly on the rug; a small ribbon nearly identical to one worn by his younger sister.

He turned a random corner and found himself climbing stairs, until he was at a room with big double doors, dusty and untouched.

A sticky note had been taped down flat, scratched with a dark gray_ Keep out!_

Carefully, hesitantly, he pushed the door open and looked inside.

The room was enourmous, though empty, save for a single cabinet. He walked to it and opened the tiny doors.

A small bottle was on one side of the cabinet, turned so all to be seen was the dingy white plastic on the back. He turned it to read the faded label._Flea-Gone._He swallowed a few laughs, imagining the half-cat having to douse his odd tail in chemicals to kill bugs. Poor Alfred.

He turned the bottle back, its sticker shamefully faced to the corner.

There was a small pile of scraps in the middle of the shelf, a torn something, a torn... photo.

He picked up one of the scraps, and looked at it, staring into a blue eye.

He reached for the rest of the shreds, to piece it back together, but- the gentle movement of his hand and the air around it blew them all away, hundreds of papers small as rice, everywhere.

He pocketed the piece with the eye and gave up on the rest.

The final object in the cabinet was a box. Like a shoebox, but grayed metal with a hinged lid. The only decoration was in the center of the lid, a carving, initials.

AFJ

He stuck his thumbnail into the slit that seperated lid and bottom, felt the empty space and began to open~

It was ripped from him by a seperate pair of hands, pale and bony and nails like claws.

"I didn't know you couldn't read." An angry hiss pierced the air.

"I'm sorry~"

"Get out." Alfred stalked across the room, visibly shaking with anger.

"Wh-"

"Get OUT!" He screeched, restraining an urge to hurl the box across the room and watch it smash against Ivan's face.

Wordlessly, he turned to go.

* * *

><p>Alfred watched his only visitor leave, and let a giant, exhasperated sigh rush from his lungs.<p>

He looked down at the box in his hands, now covered in scratches and marks from his claw/fingernails. Carefully, he lifted the lid.

There, glowing on the white velvet, lay the flower.

He lifted it delicately, hardly breathing, hardly wanting to disturb the magical plant. The flower's petals were browning and spotty, the stalk's fuzz sticky, the leaves growing crispy and gross.

His placed the sunflower back in the case. It was wilting. He was running out of time. There were four days left at he'd just kicked his only visitor from the castle.

His heart pumped hard with worry, regret.

* * *

><p><strong>Long long long chapter, I guess it sorta went dark-light-dark, huh.<strong>

**Cliffffffffffhannggerr. Heehee ;3**

**So what did you think of that? I'm kinda spaced out, just saw The Hunger Games movie. Anybody else catch that? Thoughts? I liked it, but I personally believe it could have been a lot better. Especially if they went a little easier on the shaky camera technique. *headache***

**TOC, just the few introductions...**

**Pot = N. Italy (To C8ecat: Here he is! Just wasn't introduced right away. c:)**

**Tomato Stress Ball = Romano/S. Italy (I dunno. I felt like it.)**

**Red Blanket = Spain (Thanks, BengalNeko85, for letting me steal that idea! For all you who aren't me or her, it's a small wink to the bull shows and such in Antonio's lovely country.)**

**Teapot = England (Because if you look back at chapter one, he was a victim of his own curse. Teapot because clearly he drinks unhealthy amounts of the stuff. Er, it would be, if he wasn't England. Did you like how the minute he steps in the kitchen, all the food burns to a crisp? Hehe oh the fun I have writing...)**

**MVF**

**So while in the movie Belle's father is banned from the castle, France simply takes off. I rewrote that song they sing in the bar praising Gaston (go to youtube if you want to hear it, I dunno what it's called) to instead be insulting Bela while she's in prison. Let's just add a little fuel to the fire, boys, *evil giggle*. In the movie Belle is banned from eating because she won't eat with Beast, but Alfred simply cannot dine with an insulter of hamburgers. The musical number "Be Our Guest" stayed a lot the same, not as extravagent because in the movie it's very visual and I didn't want to detract from the lyrics. And while Belle strays from her tour of the castle, Ivan wanders off all his own and then gets kicked out in the same manner as Belle.**

**I think that's all, but like I said earlier, my head's pretty fried, so please PM me if you have any other questions.**

**Or, like, you could leave the question in a review. I appreciate any readers at all so much, but reviews are just the icing and sprinkles on the proverbial cake.**

**Alright, thanks you guys, bye!**


	5. Woods And Storming

***reads short chapter* Oh, god... just a warning, it's dark...**

* * *

><p>Ivan seemed to fly down the stairs, running with tiny steps and his coat floating up behind him.<p>

Yong Soo looked up as the visitor ran by. "Wait! Where are you going?"

"Exactly where I was asked to go," he replied in a dark tone. "Out." And the tall, wooden doors were opening to the still pouring night, and slamming shut behind him.

Yong Soo called half-heartedly to the shut doors. "Please, wait...!"

* * *

><p>The rain had escalated into a full thunderstorm, nature throwing its fists down in a hissy fit. Branches were cracking like sharp popcorn. Rain peppered him with shots. The wind was blinding, throwing debris around and watering the eyes of any stupid enough to be outside.<p>

Stupid like him. He should have kept out. Alfred had every right to hate him...

Ivan wandered, knowing he was walking in a big circle, knowing he had no clue where to go, knowing all of this and feeling only a deep calm in the pit of his stomach.

He found himself stumbling against a tree, held to its bark by the gale.

Instead of struggling, as anyone else would, he merely stood. This was nothing. This was calm. This was was him being half-delirious from exhaustion and injury. This had been a very long night.

This was a good place to rest.

He was propped against a tree that was deep in the woods, away from the castle, eyes bleary and running, though from what he didn't know.

It was certainly not a restful night, but he took the opportunity, and fell asleep against a tree.

* * *

><p>Alfred had not had a moment of sleep. He stood now still in that Keep out! Room, grasping a mug of coffee and staring at the pink-streaked sunrise through the giant windows. It was amazing how something so destructive led to something so beautiful...<p>

As if programmed to, he suddenly turned and began running, out the door and down the castle hallways, hearing the thick silence on all sides.

It had been quiet for too long.

* * *

><p>Ivan wondered if maybe he had sunburn.<p>

It might explain why he hurt...freaking...all...over...

But sun was not the answer.

He felt himself roll.

Grass. Twigs. Rocks. Gravel. All the various sharp bits of nature were beneath him, pressing into his body as a set of hands pushed him over. He wasn't dead. So why was he being rolled like an undignified corpse?

"Hmph," something squealed, as the hands pushed him again.

He blinked, finally opening his eyes, which watered as he looked into the rising sun by mistake. "Stop, stop, I can walk." He stumbled up onto his feet.

"Oh, thank god," someone huffed. "You're okay, and~" they sighed for breath. "I don't have to push you anymore."

His vision cleared, except for a blue spot where the sun had been. "Why were you pushing me?"

Alfred rolled his wrists in circles, and a few clicks and cracks rose from his bone. "I can't exactly carry you. You're like... way bigger than I am."

"Why didn't you just wake me up?"

"I tried. You didn't." He straightened from his bent pose of gasping for air.

"...Oh."

"You scared me," he said a bit more serious, ears drooping, tone softening. "You were collapsed against a tree, wouldn't wake up. I thought you were~~~" His features lost all movement, becoming still and serene and sad.

"I'm fine, just~" he grit his teeth as his ribs burned. "A little sore."

"I'm so sorry..."

"I'm the one that trespassed," he admitted. "Don't worry about it."

There wasn't a clear path in this section of the woods. Everything was gnarled together, wild, thick, and unruly.

There was a moment when the two were walking side by side, and Alfred tried to squish around a stubborn bush. The back of his hand brushed Ivan's, for the smallest of seconds.

He shot at first a worried glance.

But Ivan, after the seeming longest moment possible, flipped Alfred's hand and let his own rest in it.

They walked like this, hand in hand, until the castle came into view.

* * *

><p>"How are you feeling?" He asked, pushing open the castle's doors.<p>

"I'm fine." His chest seared again. "P-perfectly okay."

"Are you sure?"

Ivan stopped, and blinked. When his eyes reopened, he seemed to be on his knees. "N-no..." He focused on making each breath smooth, to not upset the fire that was his skin, the something caught in his ribs.

"Oh, god... You're bleeding~!"

There seemed to be a growing, dark red, blotch on his coat, over his side. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"Let me see," Alfred pleaded, hovering over him like an uneasy hummingbird.

"It'll be fine," he insisted. But he couldn't get up.

"Just let me see," and the hands that had rolled him through the woods, that had been unsteady in his palm, were now pushing, and trying to help.

"I'm fine," he growled weakly, trying to muster anger or a scrap of intimidation. But he was tired. Hurt.

"Your coat is a mess," and it was gone. "You're so beaten," and he had no shirt.

His side was flaming and wet with blood.

"Oh. My. God." Alfred gasped. He had a hand on Ivan's stomach, and his fingers were prodding the pit of the flames. "There's~"

He screamed, tears bursting out of him for the first time in years.

"There's a branch of thorns!"

He was hyperventilating, sobbing, almost dying. "Get it out!"

"I'm trying! It's a freaking stick of thorns! It's gonna hurt!"

Worse than it already was? "Just make it stop!"

"I'm trying! I don't wanna hurt you again!"

"Please!" He reached blindly in front of him and pulled on someone.

Something from somewhere in the beyond gave him the right words.

"Please!" He begged. "Be my hero!"

Alfred was quiet, listening to the injured Russian's racking sobs.

With a twist, a tear, a tug, the vine slid bloodslick out of him.

He screamed again, and... then... it was okay. The fire was dying. The pain was leaving.

Breath slowing, he stared up at the tan and yellow blur floating above him, with it's two blue-black stars.

He could feel his arm shaking as he held onto that fistful of clothes and person. "Th-thank you. Thank you."He closed his eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>...Not really in a cheery, chattery mood.<strong>

**...**

**...**

**...review?**


	6. Little American Kitty

**So after being a wimp and hiding from the big bad dark chapter I posted a few days ago, I'm back. Miss me? Ah who cares you miss the story not me ;) Mild darkness in the beginning, but after that THE STORY GETS MUCH LIGHTER and I have some wonderful fluff not only at the end but planned for following chapters, too, please don't abandon me! *goes in emo corner to eat ice cream* ah, just read it...**

* * *

><p>Alfred watched with horror as the strong purple eyes dimmed, and then shut. "No," he croaked. "No."<p>

Ivan's breathing was hardly there.

"No!" He screeched, gripping Ivan's hand. "No!" He'd seen too many movies, and if someone was hurt- if they said thanks and closed their eyes-

"NO!" With angry adrenaline he did the impossible and heaved the taller one up, holding him bridal style, stomping up the many stairs. "Dammit! You're not dying!"

His eyes dripped, and he left behind a tearstained spot on the rug. He left a teardrop, and a whisper.

"Please."

* * *

><p>It was hard for a ceramic teapot with a pink lid to look grave and solemn. But if there was a sadder dish in the world, Alfred didn't know what it could be. "You can help him, right? Please, can you save him?" He spoke sharp around the lump in his throat.<p>

Arthur examined the gash closer. "I think so... Do you still have the branch?"

It was in his fist, he realized, cutting into his skin, mixing American blood with Russian.

Arthur picked the bloody piece of nature and saw Alfred's palm. "Perfect... You bled on this."

"I think so. But can you? Heal him?"

"Can I have this?"

"If I say yes, can you save him?"

The teapot nodded.

"Then yes! Yes yes yes just hurry up, we don't have time for this!"

"Get out of the room," Arthur instructed.

As he left reluctantly, specks of glitter filled the air of the room behind him.

* * *

><p>Natalia was suspicious.<p>

Most suspicious.

She had been keeping a relentless vigil on the porch of Big Brother's house ever since she'd been released from jail, and amoung the time she'd spent there, she hadn't seen even the quickest glimpse of darling brother! Or his creepy perverted friend, either.

She paced the length of the porch once again.

"If he won't come to me~" She hopped off the porch and glared down at a footprint in the mud. "I can go find him." She stomped to follow the tracks.

"I can totally help you with your magic! So like, silk?"

"Do you have any?"

"Like, totally! Lets see. Colors?"

"Just not white or black."

"What about, like, pink?"

"...Sure. But isn't that a little short?"

"Like, so? I like, totally love this dress. Being a wardrobe, like, totally sucks, because while I have all these clothes, there's like, totally no way I can fit into any of it!"

"...Whatever you say, Feliks."

"Like, you're welcome!"

* * *

><p>"Uh..." he blinked into conciousness. "Wh-what..." He felt his side. Where the fire... No, he remembered, it had been a branch. Where he'd been stabbed... There was nothing. Tender skin under a patch of fabric.<p>

"You're okay!" Alfred tackled him, squishing him with a hug.

"...There's not even a scab," he said, puzzled. "Nothing."

"It's like it never happened, right?"

"Why?"

"Arthur used his weird magic~ I don't know the details, but I'm so happy you're okay!" He started purring, rubbing his face into Ivan's shoulder.

"You're so like a cat," he whispered, acutely aware that he was still shirtless and of Alfred's small weight on top of him.

The purr died, a motor gone silent. "I'm sorry."

"I don't mind~ little kitty." If he really was half cat... Then... He rubbed the other's stomach.

Alfred blushed and tried to protest around his revived purring. "St-stop it~ kn-knock it it off!~ that tickles, quit it~!" The contented rumble from his throat was pure reflex... Well, not entirely, if he was honest.

But Ivan was more than happy to keep teasing his small American kitty.

* * *

><p><strong>So that wasn't SO bad~! :')<strong>

**TOC- nobody new.**

**MVF**

**Movie: Belle goes in the East Wing, gets banished from the castle, fights off wolves (you go, girl!) wimps out to wolves (meh), gets rescued by the Beast (double meh), and cleans the Beast's wound (triple meh!) followed by a cute little montage of them together. Fanfiction: lots of author-guilt-inducing darkness when Ivan pokes around Alfred's room (well, one of them, not like his bedroom, just a room, _moving on_) and almost finds the magic sunflower. Ivan is then thrown out in the storm and passes out (*guilt*) and is rescued by Alfred twice, once by bringing him to the castle and twice by taking out the thorn-stick/bringing him to Iggy and is followed by some hopefully cute fluff.**

**Is there mild OOC-ness here? *squints at computer* Oh, I do believe so. Please don't flame me for it. Harsh concrit is fin, but flames are used to light Japanese lanterns in a mushy little fiction I is now planning.**

**Reviews, pretty please? Hasta la pasta~!**


	7. Photos of Lovely Pink Silk

***trills* I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Miss me? Or at least m' story? Whatever da reason, the next chapter is here. *giggles* Oh, the fun I had with this, after all that dark and doom...**

* * *

><p>Arthur looked up as he hopped in. "Uh... Ivan? Alfred?"<p>

The two froze, and pulled apart.

"...Yeah?"

"What exactly~?"

"...Experimenting with the reflexes of the mysterious half-cat-half-man." Alfred's face gave no clue that he had made that up on the spot.

"And so you were~"

"Testing stomach sensitivities when contacted by human fingertips in a light manner."

"So~"

"Why are you here?" Ivan interrupted, wearing his embarrassed blush to match the red of Alfred's face.

"Well it seems my magic worked effectively... You've probably noticed your wound is gone. In essence, I condensed the weapon that hurt you, the branch, and made it into a part of your body, healing with the destroyer. Make sense?"

"Da...?"

"The only thing is you have to keep that covered for a few hours, in silk. Helps the new skin set in."

"Well, that's easy, I can just keep this on, da?" He tapped the rag fixed to his skin.

"No... Not exactly. That's only held on with tape; it'll fall off soon. It's much easier to wear it, something tight and silk."

"...So a shirt or something?"

"Unfortunately, we only had one source of that material in the house."

"..." This didn't sound good.

There was a tap at the door before Feliks came in, holding up the source and grinning. "Like, this is it!"

Ivan's face darkened. "You have GOT to be kidding me. Kolkolkolkolkolkol..."

"I'm sorry..."

He glanced up at the Polish wardrobe, still grinning like an idiot. "Out of this entire castle... Kolkol..."

"That's the only thing that'll fit you! You're tall!"

"...what happens if I don't wear it?"

"The injury comes back. Twice as bad. Which would kill you."

"...fine..." He snatched the item from the wardrobe and went into a seperate room.

* * *

><p>Ivan Braginski hope<p>

* * *

><p>d that this would be not only his first, but last, time spent in a dress. Maybe the mirror would shatter and keep him from having to look at it any longer. A pale pink sundress, tight only because it was meant for someone much smaller than him. Meant to fall at this knees... It came to mid-thigh. Short. Very short. He kept tugging it down, trying to cover his skin, exposed and shameful.<p>

He heard a knock at the door. "Ivan...? Are you okay?"

"I'm staying in here," he informed Alfred through the door. "I'll wear~ it~ but nobody has to see it. Kolkol... So how long will it take?"

There were some muffled arguments before he called back. "Four hours."

Four. Hours. Four hours. Two hundred and forty minutes. One thousand four hundred forty seconds.

"Are you sure you want to be alone in there all morning?"

"Extremely." But loneliness pinched inside him at the thought. "Can you stay out there and keep me company?"

"...Sure."

* * *

><p>Elizabeta opened the cabinet to see a thin digital camera inside. "Kiku."<p>

"Good morning, Eriza. What is it?" The camera screen showed his face, calm and blank.

"The visitor is upstairs. In a dress. A short. Pink. Dress. However, he's determined to stay in there until he can take it off~ long story. Alfred is at the door, and we have four hours."

"... Rets go."

* * *

><p>Alfred was leaning on the door, pressed against it, listening to Ivan's soft voice, when he heard Elizabeta trill. "Good morning!"<p>

"Morning~" he yawned and stretched. He'd been up all morning and night. Coffee only went so far.

"We brought you breakfast!" The Hungarian frying pan said happily. She gestured to the Japanese camera, supporting a tray of food.

"Prease take it," he said, struggling to balance.

"Oh. Thanks, you guys." Cautiously he nommed a bite of egg sandwich, and felt himself grow unhealthily and suddenly tired. "What did you do to this?"

"Whats this?" Eliza pulled a small pill from the sandwich. It was bitten in half and most of the powder was gone. "Oh, no! It seems some medication has fallen into this meal!"

"... Crap..."

"So sorry, but... Night night," she wished sweetly as the pills kicked in and dragged him under.

* * *

><p>Kiku looked at the unconcious body. "Was it rearry neccessary to drug him?"<p>

"Man inside. Short pink dress."

"Point taken."

"Now help me get the stepstool over." Together they pushed a small plastic foot stool from the corner to just under the door knob, which, if Kiku stood on top of her, they could juuuuust reach...

* * *

><p>"Alfred?" Silence. "Are you still there?" He hadn't been saying anything for a while now. "Alfred?"<p>

This room was empty, no furniture. He walked away from the door to stare out the window. This was at the back of the house, and the window faced the edge of the frightfully tall cliff.

He didn't hear the doorknob until it was too late. "What wa-"

The door burst open in a tumble of frying pan and camera. "What?~ Get out!"

"No!" The camera was snapping pictures at a rate so rapid there was only one continuous flash.

"Get out!" He stomped forward, lifted his foot threatening to smash the camera~

when it looked up and snapped another photo.

"Kolkolkol... Human or not I'll kill you!" The duo of objects began to run, and he abandoned the empty room to chase after them. "DELETE THAT PHOTO!" He turned a corner, unprepared for the rug suddenly under his feet.

Unprepared to tumble head over heels down a hallway while wearing a too short dress.

And being filmed.

. . .

This was officially the worst moment of his life.

So far.

* * *

><p>"Hey, did you hear something aru?"<p>

"It sounded like someone yelling. You know, yelling was invented~"

"In Korea. I know. Aru."

"Hmmph. Well. It was probably nothing."

* * *

><p><strong>Absolutely nothing at all...<strong>

**TOC- camera!Japan~! :D  
><strong>

**MVF- instead of a winter montage, I am having Hetalia fun with frying pans. (al-la-la-literation- anybody else learn that trick in school?)**

**What did you people think? Like it so far? I hope you do~! Along that line, what do you think of me pretty please asking for a review? Please? I know you secretly love typing up feedback reviews. For me? C'mon...**

**Hasta las pastas, folks!  
><strong>


	8. Sorry, Didn't See You Here

**Hola, fellow Hetalians! Please enjoy the chapter! :D**

* * *

><p>Elizabeta had a dazy smile and dreamy eyes. "I wonder, if maybe, when those two fall in love, and the spell's broken, I'll just start bleeding to make up for how frying pans can't."<p>

In the corner, Kiku was not exactly as happy. "Ow..."

"So did you get i? Did you? Kiku?" She hopped over.

"Yes..." the camera groaned. "Ow..."

"You did? Yay! Thats so awesome!" She squealed, happy and high-pitched. "Well well well can I see, please please?"

"Do you even care that I just armost died?" The camera screen was cracked, displaying an exhasperated face.

"Well~!" She peeped, still fangirling away. "Its not everyday a man in a short pink dress summer-saults down the stairs on film!"

"And then kicks me into the corner?" He straightened up and wobbled away. "I'm going to try and fix this." A few wires were poking out of his side, and they shot a few sparks before he left.

"See ya later!" She called cheerfully.

* * *

><p>Ivan was pressed against the wall of a very dark, very abandoned hallway. "Okay. So now I'm out and about and very easily seen. That's okay, because now I just have to either find that room or go about three hours without being seen."<p>

He sighed. "Piece of cake."

He began to edge down the hallway.

* * *

><p>Alfred yawned as he woke up, stretching and making a funny little throat noise. He uncurled from his round position, and checked his watch. Almost three hours had gone by. "Hmmph." He made a mental note to never accept a meal from Elizabeta ever again.<p>

Wait.

Eliza and Kiku had drugged him while Ivan was inside, alone, wearing a dress.

"Ssshhhhiiittt..." He looked back at the door. It was open, and seemed to be nobody inside. "Ivan?"

He walked inside and paced the length of the room a few times. "Are you in here?"

Alfred went to check the wide closet, stepping inside it.

* * *

><p>Ivan peeked around the corner. Perfect! There was the room where he'd started the morning. And there seemed to be no one around. He glanced down the hall and darted inside.<p>

"Gah," he complained, trying to shut the door. It was broken, after the creepy little camera and pan had forced it open. It wouldn't stay closed now. Enough time had gone by that he could escape this evil, awful, dress. He wasn't changing with the door open.

He saw the closet with the corner of his eye. Oh. That was a good hiding spot. He picked up his clothes.

Ivan's footsteps were quiet as he walked into the seemingly empty closet, and shut the door behind him.

* * *

><p>At the far end of the closet, Alfred jumped when he heard the door click shut. "Ah!~ Wh-who's there?"<p>

"Oh!~"

He stepped forward, trying to get his eyes to adjust. Cats could see in the dark, right? Too bad he'd never tested this power before. "Who said that?"

"Its just me,~"

"Who?" And as he said this, he recognized the voice.

His ankle twisted the wrong way, and Alfred fell forward into a tangled heap with Ivan Braginski.

...

...

...

"Oh," he finally said. "Ahm. Sorry." He realized two minutes too late he hadn't made a single move to climb off Ivan, and he was grateful the dark could hide his blush as they began to untangle themselves.

* * *

><p>"Um. That's okay." Ivan pulled his arm from where it had twisted behind Alfred's back in an odd half hug, and his foot out from under Alfred's thigh. He scooted back, mentally cursing.<p>

Damnit... Damnitdamnitdamnitdamnit he'd almost made it and of all the people to see him~~

"So, uh, I'll get out of your way, I guess~" Alfred scrambled to his feet and yanked on the door.

Which did not open.

He laughed anxiously and tried the knob again. "Ahahaha, I don't know why it won't open..."

Terrifying as the situation was, Ivan had to muffle a laugh behind his hand at how Alfred's voice trailed higher when he was nervous. It was such a... feminine... trait.

"This isn't happening~!" His grin was visible by his teeth glowing, and his eyes were, too. His teeth did look smooth and lovely.

He watched as Alfred pushed the door. He was small, and the wood did not give. He laughed nervously and turned, tail ticking away. "Its~ it's locked."

* * *

><p>Alfred listened to the hush that was Ivan's only response. "..."<p>

"..."

"...I'm so sorry," he finally said just to break the silence, not really knowing what he was apologizing for.

"...It's not your fault. It... it's fine."

"..." He sat back down about a foot away from Ivan. The silence went a few minutes, and it wasn't as weird as before.

"What do we do now?"

"What can we do? I don't want to break the doors down."

"...So we wait. For someone to find us. Thats what you think?"

His mouth twitched into a smile. "Pretty much."

"...I guess that's not so bad." Something cold and familiar crept to rest by him, barely brushing his pinky. Ivan's hand.

* * *

><p>There were unasked questions in the air, the ones they both had, too prideful to ask the other.<p>

So~ you're okay with this?

May I hold your hand?

Because~ What are we?

Amazing how being locked in a closet can answer them all.

* * *

><p><strong>Ah, I am so evillazy. I vill ztop zis chapter right here und not tell you vhen I'm next updating und vhy am I typing in an exaggerated German accent?**

**TOC- no one new, still :)**

**MVF- nu montage for you! Only awkward situations! :D**

**So what do you think of this chapter? I don't know how clear the dialogue was (as in who was speaking when and such) and also the lines in my opinion ended up coming out pretty weird, because I'm writing in this sort of kind of weird third person/omniscient POV, and it just... I don't know. Kudos to anyone who knew the term 'omnniscient POV', though (if I'm spelling that right).**

**I find this a wonderful time to casually mention I don't write lemon, so anyone hoping for that terribly sorry, I'm dreadfully shy :)**

**Reviews, purdy please? They do make me so happy.**

**Hasta la pasta~!**


	9. Closet Conversations

**La la, la la, helloooooooo people of fanfiction dot net! I have been offline for quite some time, haven't I. Beg pardon! I had a lot to do for the past week, and my schedule was eaten, but now I'm free, free, free! So maybe updates will come a bit faster. La la, la la, enjoy today's new chapter!**

* * *

><p>Ivan could feel their hands barely touching. He'd never noticed how cold his hands were before, but holding Alfred's it was impossible to not notice. His hands were icy compared to their warmth. It was something he hadn't realized he wanted. He could feel their hands barely touching.<p>

_So...?_

A little surge of happiness went through him as the warm fingers weaved into his again.

Alfred yawned and murmured drowsily. "I'm tired." He hugged Ivan's entire arm and pressed against him.

"Why?"

"I was up all night. I felt bad for kicking you out. I was worried." He shifted, and Ivan felt furry ears on his neck. "You have a comfy shoulder."

"You stayed up because of me?"

"Mm-hmm. God, I'm tired..."

"Then go to sleep," he told softly.

"No," he mumbled. "Keep talking to me. I'm staying up."

"Fine. Stubborn kotenok."

"Wha~?"

"Oh. It's Russian."

"For what?"

"Kitty."

He straightened up a bit. "I am not~!"

"You are."

"Half." He curled back against Ivan. "Hmmm. How do you say hamburger in Russian?"

He smiled. "Gamburger."

"That's it?"

"Da."

"That means yes, right?"

"D- yes, it does. How did you know that?"

"I payed attention. You have a weird voice. You have a _pretty_ voice."

"Now I know you're asleep," he teased but felt a chill nonetheless.

"How do you say hero?"

"Geroi. You are geroi."

"How do you say..." He yawned, airy and light, and murmered in a falling asleep tone. "I like you."

"...You already have."

Alfred did not respond.

He turned his head slightly to look at the person next to him, and whispered to not wake him. "Sleep tight, Alfred. Ya lyublyu tebya."

* * *

><p>"Why don't you just lift the spell now?" Elizabeta begged.<p>

"I would, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't! Really."

"Fine. So what breaks the spell?"

"True Love's First Kiss."

"So if I can get them to kiss~" She beamed.

"Uh, Elizabeta?"

"Gotta go! I have things to do, people to see~" She hopped away. "Plans to make, spell to break, lovers to find..."

* * *

><p>He woke up from a violet colored dream, in the dark and leaning against something cool and soft. "Oh. Hi," he said, rubbing his eyes and straightening up, still pressed against Ivan but no longer limp. "Still in the closet."<p>

"We are, but you're not."

"What?" He heard silence, a swallow, then speech.

"It's nothing, just~ you were rambling on before you fell asleep."

"Oh." He tried to remember all that he'd said, blushing as he did. (It really was too bad that the darkness kept him from seeing Ivan was wearing a red face, too.) "I was pretty out of it." A next sentence formed in his mind, and he was hesitant to say anything else. But he did add something else, the words hot and scalding in his mouth and throat. "I meant all of it."

_Stupid. Stupidstupidstupid._

He grit his teeth. "I really need to keep my fat mouth shut, don't I." Oh, God, life was cruel.

"Nyet..." Ivan shifted so they were facing each other. "You don't have to do that..."

Even in the darkness, he could see Ivan's silhouette, gently leaning to him.

* * *

><p>Elizabeta threw open the closet doors and took in the entire scene in a millisecond.<p>

Ivan was still in his pink dress, with bloodstained clothes on his lap, facing Alfred, whose hand was on Ivan's knee, tail ticking with anxious energy, and they were facing each other, very close to each other, as in about a toothpick's width from mouth contact.

And in the next millisecond, she began to scream.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, she <em>does<em> just come in at the most perfect time. How I love being an author.**

**The MVF and TOC are the same as last chapter, so look there if confused :)**

**Reviews are most appreciated by me and my sleep deprived state! Please take the time to click the blue button, I do love reading reviews so! I will do my best to get back to everyone as well.**

**Now ciao, my beloved reader friends!**


	10. Hammurabi's Rule

**Ooh, look at me, speedy update! I feel so impressive! Short chapter, but I pre-planned it this way. ENJOY!**

* * *

><p>He yanked his head back and felt a hiss spill out of his throat as he squinched his eyes shut and covered them with his palms, shielding against the too-bright was another sound, too, a familiar, high, tea-kettle-like noise that hurt his ears, and Ivan's angry kol-ing noise, sounding upset instead of furious.<p>

The screaming stopped. "No, go right ahead! Just pretend like I'm not even here!"

"Go away, Eliza~"

"I'll shut up, see? Just~"

"You can get out now, or I can smash you through the wall like I did to your little friend, kolkolkol."

The sound of metal thunking wood grew farther and farther away.

"Well... At least we're not stuck..." He lowered his hands and opened his eyes, blinking to adjust. Sunlight was pouring through the windows.

"Da..."He looked over and realized the reason for drops of discomfort in Ivan's tone. He was still wearing the short little dress. "Do you~ could I~" He held up his filthy clothes, at a loss for words.

Face still red (and growing darker) he nodded and took the bundle of fabric. "Sorry-I-know-you-didn't-want-to-be-seen-I'll-get-these-clean-and-I'll-make-sure-nobody-else-comes-in-here!~" He walked fast out of the room, keeping his eyes trained to the ground and then using his shoe to wedge the door shut behind him, in a way only someone with arms could pull it out.

* * *

><p>As he watched the washer, he thought of a line from a song that seemed to sum up his mood. <em>"You make me blush..."<em>

He'd spent much of time around Ivan with a face in a shade of pink or red. And they'd almost~

See? Now he was flushed again.

God, the frying pan and camera in this castle were going to freaking die.

He opened the washer and slammed the clothes into the dryer with more force than truly needed.

* * *

><p>There was a rustle as the shoe was pulled out from under the door, and then a careful knock.<p>

Ivan opened the door and accepted a huge load of clothes from the American whom he really barely knew. Did it matter? Did things like favorite color or birthday have any consequence, when compared with the idea of trusting that person with life?

He thanked and accepted his laundry with a slight, mysterious, smile.

* * *

><p>Oh, good, normal clothes," Alfred said, grinning as Ivan stepped out of the room. It was odd. How happy he was to see him.<p>

"Ah, well-"

He felt his face grow hot as he realized how that must have sounded. "Oh! Oh, gosh, I mean, it's not, like, I mean,~" His brain screamed. Spit it out! "~I didn't mean that the way it came out."

He smiled back. "That's fine." They started walking. "Hmm. Three people saw me in a dress. You sort of owe me now, da?" "I sort of do, don't I?"

"What do you think? An eye for an eye?"

"Huh? I~" he stopped, and the reference clicked. An ancient rule of punishment, dating to Mesopotamian times. What you give is what you get. Kill and be killed. In the words of an eye for an eye, dress, and be dressed.

"I'll see you at dinner," he said in his sweetest tone, and ran off. An eye for an eye, indeed.

* * *

><p><strong>Ooh. I wonder what he's off to do~ 8D<strong>

***little evil author laughter***

**If I get reviews from kindly readers like you, I'll update tomorrow~! :D *dangling next chapter just out of reach as bait for reviewers***

**Seriously though, pretty please?**

**Adieu, beloved ones~! Until we next meet!**


	11. The Ballroom Scene

**I have kept my promise. Another chapter is here! Please read/enjoy/review!**

* * *

><p>"So, like, a dress?"<p>

"Yeah. Don't go crazy, Feliks, It's just 'cause I owe him."

"Yeah, whatever. Like this is so totally sweet, though! You little uke you." Feliks began pulling dresses out and hanging them on a pole running parellel to the ceiling.

"Uke?"

"Actually I don't know, it's just something Eliza called me whenever I was in like pink."

"Oh... Are all those for me?" He tipped his head at the ten or so dresses hanging.

"I have been waiting for you to ask me this for like, ever. I wanted to be totally prepared."

"But I hadn't ever met a- guy, before!"

"It's the gaydar. I always knew you'd be rainbows one day." The wardrobe sympathetically patted his shoulder with a drawer/arm and then examined him through squinty wood eyes. "Dinner, hmm?" He pulled a dress down and put it back in his wardrobe/body. The same happened to another six, leaving three hanging on the pole. "You pick~!"

He glanced at his wardrobe friend. "Hey- thanks, Feliks. I hope~ maybe you won't be enchanted much longer."

"Because you're rainbows and hoping for a kiss?"

"Hey!~"

"Hey I totally support you! I just like miss my little Toris and I don't wanna be like a wardrobe forever because it's like totally a horrible shape so you should just like accept who you are and break the spell already!"

He sighed and pulled a dress down. "Thanks anyways."

As he left, Feliks cheered. "Go get him, little uke!"

* * *

><p>Ivan stood at one end of the dining room, just coming in, when another door opened, and Alfred stepped through.<p>

He was much better suited to dresses~ petite and thin, he was sort of... Cute. Given the dress was longer than his pink one had been, it still seemed perfectly fair. It looked like an American flag had barfed on a bridal gown that got chopped at the knees. This dress was fluffy, poofing out with red tulle underneath, and no sleeves or even straps. It was navy blue, with little white stars studding it here and there, and a single red ribbon binding the waist. Patriotic, even when cross-dressing.

Alfred spread the skirt half-heartedly. "So... How do I look?" Bless his soul. He even twirled before bowing his head in embarrassment.

Ivan crossed the room and lightly put two fingers under his chin, lifting his head back up high and proud. "Adorable. Like a little American cupcake."

"I love cupcakes." A grumbly groan rose, the unmistakable sound of hunger. "No breakfast or lunch. Shall we?" He gestured to the table.

Ivan plucked the gesturing hand from the air. "Da!~!"

They sat side by side, and there was but a single silver platter between them. The shining cover was pulled away with a flourish, and a cloud of steam concealed the meal for a second. Two hamburgers, meaty islands in a sea of crisp, salty French fries.

"Revenge?" He teased, recalling his claims to hate them.

"Cravings," Alfred replied with equal pep, digging into one of the burgers happily.

He nibbled the hamburger. "Mm. It is good~!"

"I knew you'd love them!" He took a huge bite and then seemed to think better of it, chewing as tidily as he could.

_I like burgers, I love you._ He ignored the thought and replied differently. "There's just something there that wasn't there before." He took another bite of the burger. Normally, he didn't like these but they were delicious! _I wonder~_ He looked over at Alfred, who was munching obliviously. The first time he ate a burger... And not alone. Maybe that was making food taste better...

He took a third bite.

* * *

><p>A meal of burgers, fries, and a shared ice cream later, Alfred tapped his hand. "I wanna show you something."<p>

"Da? What is it~?"

Instead of answering, he went behind him and covered his eyes. "Just walk where I tell you."

So, blind and trustful, he kept on walking and walking, shoes on smooth tile, adjusting his step to follow the hand over eyes.

"Here. Open your eyes~!" He pulled his hands away.

His mouth parted slightly, and he blinked.

"Do you like it?"

"I've never seen anything..." He looked around. It was a massive room, with gleaming, polished stone tiles, ceiling covered in beautiful paintings, a chandelier casting candlelight, a whole wall of glass windows complete with balcony overlooking the grounds. "You have a ballroom in your house~!"

"Pretty much." He was grinning, a million watt smile that suddenly turned shy. "Do you want~ will you dance with me?"

(A soft music was playing in the background.)

"Alfred F. Jones~" He placed his free hand on the mentioned's hip, lifting their locked fingers higher. "There is nothing I would like better."

And they whirled.

* * *

><p><strong>I believe the conversation between kitty!America and wardrobe!Poland was the hardest I have ever laughed while writing. It was so very, incredibly fun. <strong>

**So this turned out to be a reasonably fluffy chapter! Lots of lightness, which I like very much. I like writing plotless, meaningless fluff. Too bad I don't more often.**

**MVF- so this chapter replaces the iconic ballroom scene. In the movie, they do show Belle and Beast eating before dancing- I chose to replace the gourmet (spelling?) food with good old burgers =)**

**TOC- that wardrobe is like totally Poland, and you like better not forget it or I'll totally make your capitol Warslaw. XD**

**So what do you think, O Reader? Shall all end here? Or shall I remind you the spell is not yet broken, and Beauty and The Beast has a certain... ahem, ending, I have not yet covered!**

**Review and tell me all your thoughts- just click that rectangle blue button! :D :D :D :D**

**Thanks, and hasta lie pasta!**


	12. Clear Skies Climax

**Ah, hello, you! It's a bit to read today, so here we go- enjoy the fanfictional chapter! OwO**

* * *

><p>Giggling like schoolkids, they ran out on the balcony. It was an unusually warm night, and clear. The stars sparkled down at them, the moon a disinterested eye. Even the air smelled sweet. Sitting on a bench, looking out at the sky, their giggles faded into calmness, and the only sounds lilting sigh-like wind.<p>

"...Alfred?"

"Yes?"

"I- I just need to thank you for rescuing me all the time, the past twenty four hours. Crashing into the gate and fainting in the woods and the stick and all of that."

"A hero's work is never done." He smiled at his palms. "You're welcome. Thanks for staying. I was lonely."

"Well... Me, too."

"..." Happy tears welled in his eyes, and he glomped the Russian. "Iva-"

His eyes widened, focused on something in the distance, and he stood, accidentally tipping Alfred off in a rude interruption. "Natalia!"

* * *

><p>Natalia was striding up the lawn of a big schmancy castle. So he wanted money in a girlfriend, did he. She could always rob a bank. She pounded on the door. "Open up! You can't hide from ME, Big Brother."<p>

* * *

><p>"What?" Alfred stood up. "Who?" His face was that of a drop-kicked puppy.<p>

You HAVE to comfort a drop-kicked puppy.

"She's crazy, a stalker," Ivan hastily explained.

A screechy call rose from the lawn. "BIG BROTHER!"

"Is she your~"

"Unfortunately so."

"Thats so creepy!"

"I know." He looked at her figure, ruining the beautiful night by pounding on the door.

Alfred puffed up his cheeks and bared his teeth. (Hilarious, because of the dress, but so not the time to laugh.) "I don't allow stalkers in my house." He yanked Ivan to the edge of the balcony.

"What are we doing?"

"Proving. Cats always land on their feet!"

They plunged.

* * *

><p>Behind her, Natalia heard a great thump. She spun on her heels to look. Across the yard, over in the grass, dear Brother was being carried bridal style by a friend. She sprinted across to greet them. Well. Him. She didn't care about the friend. "BROTHER!"<p>

When she was very close, however, she stopped.

The man carrying Big Brother was a cat.

In a U.S.A. flag dress.

"Put my brother down, you freak!"

"Hey!"

"Natalia!"

"Ow!"

"Stop!"

"Natalia!" Ivan wriggled free and came over to grip her shoulders.

Him, touching her. It was so blissful, to be held by him, even in this restraining way.

She stopped. "Natalia, listen very carefully."

"We don't want you here," the cat-person stated bluntly. "If you really love me, let me be happy. Don't waste your life chasing me."

"In other words~~ Buzz. Off. Stalker."

In a deceptively calm voice, she queried one question. "You want me to go. Because you love him."

"...Da."

She stared into his rocky purple eyes.

"Please, Natalia. Please."

"I came here through the entire damn forest, and I came here for you," she snarled, shaking hard with the anger. "Now you have one chance. Marry. Me."

The words from his mouth were ugly with truth. "Natalia. In the way you want, I will never love you."

And then

she

snapped.

* * *

><p>At arms length he held a flailing, shrieking demon, in the upset form of his sister. She began to scream, at a pitch that shredded through the thin air, a volume bothering even the deafest of worms yards away and underground.<p>

"I CAME HERE TO MARRY MY BROTHER AND I WON'T LEAVE WITHOUT HIM! SO IF SOME DIRTY, MUTANT, GENDER-CONFUSED AMERICAN WANTS HIM, FINE! BUT IF I CAN'T HAVE, NO ONE CAN!"

His sister tore away from him and lunged for Alfred, knife in hand, ready to stab.

He slammed into her as she dove through mid-air, knocking her down. "Alfred, run!"

The three of them were in a chase, up the many stairs to the rooftop.

"MARRY ME AND IT ENDS NOW!"

"Never!" He tackled her legs and tried to wrench the knife from her grasp.

She sliced straight down the center of his palm, and he winced.

"You're going to die, cat." She growled, wriggling again from her brother's arms.

He scrambled to his feet as they climbed to the roof. The castle was many stories high, the roof hundreds of feet up. The stairs were snaking round the walls, and the three were running, running, running, up the too mny stairs.

Natalia slammed Alfred down, pressing her dagger deep against his back. "I can't stand thieves," she hissed, and pressed a little harder. "Taking what's rightfully mine." She pressed harder. "And in this case, Alfred, Ivan. Is. Mine." She twisted the names into mockeries full of hatred. "And the price of stealing is death." She jabbed again. The dress was sliced open, and Alfred was bleeding, knife making a delicate wound.

Ivan finally reached the roof, running for his sister. "STOP!"

"You had your chance," she hissed, and when she looked over her eyes were red with malice. "Say goodbye, boyfriends." She spat the last word onto Alfred's face.

Three things happened at once.

Ivan pushed her.

Alfred rolled away from the edge.

Natalia stumbled.

She was tumbling, faster and faster, from the front edge of the roof to the back. The back edge, by the cliff's jagged edge- she grabbed the gutter.

She clung to it with her nails, eyes wide, breath sharp with panic. "Please!"

"As if," Alfred scoffed.

"No, really! Come help me, please, please I'm begging you. I'll leave, never call you again, please help me, Alfred, Ivan, anyone!"

They looked at each other.

"She is my family," Ivan said softly.

Alfred groaned, loud as he could ("AGHH") and began walking to the edge.

"Thank, you," she gasped, and grinned evilly.

She lifted her other arm and stabbed Alfred's leg.

He screamed and stumbled backwards, weapon still in leg.

Blood poured from the gaping wound.

"ALFRED!"

The half-cat's face was pasty under the clear, pain-fresh tears. He swayed, not unlike how they'd danced. He swayed, and began to fall...

Ivan held his arms out to catch him. "Alfred~ "

"I- I- Iv- Iva-"

"Shh~"

"Ivan." He was breathing too fast, bleeding too fast. Dying too fast.

He squeaked something, maybe a _No!_. Whatever it was, the noise was sad.

Natalia at first only chuckled. Then she laughed. And giggled. And cackled. "Oh, Ivan, brother, the world is better without freaks like that!"

He faced his sister with rage in his eyes. "Kolkolkolkolkol~" the words stuck in his throat. "You. Killed. Him."

She cackled harder, body racking with it, body shaking and moving, and

her fingers slipped.

She fell.

and screamed.

_Nooooooooooooo!_

Natalia Braginski plunged away from the cliff, down, down, down, forever down and away.

* * *

><p>He knew he should be sad for his sister. But Alfred was dying. "Please, you can't die, you have to live!"<p>

"Ivan..."

"I'm here. Shh, you'll be alright!" He sniffed.

"Ivan... Spell."

"Wh-what?" He winced, pulling himself up, eyes were glassy and wet. "Break... The... Spell."

"Alfred, how do I do that?" He was pleading, now, but dignity was not important.

He coughed, collapsed forward, wheezed a sad laugh. "I'm dying."

"No-"

"I love you."

"I love you more." He hugged him and pressed his mouth to his cheek.

Alfred coughed, and turned his head, to softly kiss Ivan's mouth.

Nothing happened.

He was losing too much blood, his breath fading.

Nothing was happening.

The pulse on his neck was slowing

Nothing happened.

And then something did.

* * *

><p>As if a balloon, Alfred floated up, out of his arms.<p>

He watched in amazement as the lifeless body was in the air.

The stars in the night sky were shining. Bigger and bigger. Brighter and brighter, filling the sky. All around~ it was blindingly bright, and a faint noise began.

Cold grains like sugar were raining from the sky-

Faster and faster~ wherever they touched the castle or Alfred's skin, a beam of golden light shot up.

Light.

Light.

Light.

Light!

It was gold and the sound of sugar everywhere, louder and louder, blinding~

something like a sonic boom spread over the land.

...

...

...

He coughed, spitting out a few grains that had drifted into his mouth, and ran to the middle of the roof, where Alfred lay facedown. "Hey~ Alfie?" He used the pet name with hesitance. _Please, let him be-_

He saw his chest rising and falling with breathing, and his own heart swelled up with joy.

Alfred rolled over and slowly opened his eyes. No longer where they slitted cat pupils. These eyes were big and blue and beautiful and~ human. He watched him raise his hands and feel on the side of his head. Ears. Real, human ears. He watched him look at his nails, which were no longer claws, but square nubs. He watched him grin. He felt him attack-hug him, so much stronger than seconds before.

"I'm human~!"

"A happily ever after," he said with a smile of his own.

"Not quite yet." He stared with new eyes into the familiar purple. "All the good fairy tales have more than one kiss."

And happily, happily, finally, their lips pressed together, in a true fairy tale kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>The End-<strong>

**Nu nu nu I lied it is NOT the end yet! There will be an epilogue chapter :')**

**I decided to be nice for once and put a decent length chappy. Agh, my end of chapter thtuff is long today.**

**MVF- I won't actually put the end of the movie down in case you haven't see it. It is quite different from my story. Also I'm lazy and don't wanna type all that.**

**TOC- lets list everybody~! oUo**

**Belle- Russia**

**Beast- America**

**Belle's Father- France**

**Witch/Tea Pot- England**

**Gaston- Belarus**

**Hello Kitty Doll- China**

**Ruler- Germany**

**Pot- Italy**

**T-Shirt- S. Korea**

**Frying Pan- Hungary**

**Camera- Japan**

**Tomato Stress Ball- Romano**

**Red Blanket- Spain**

**Three Shivery People On Street Corner- the Baltics**

**Wardrobe- Poland**

**Is that it? I feel like I'm missing somebody. Leave it in a review if I did :)**

**Seriously folks! Reviews are amazing! I love each and every one that I get, they have pushed this story on in times when out of exhaustion I felt like giving up. Let me know what you think of this chapter. Soon I'll post the epilogue! And y'know that'll be a big ball of fluff, of course...**

**Hey, guess what else! I'm putting a poll on my page. I want you, my darling readers, to decide what I should post next! I have a BUNCH of stuff I need to dump off my computer, because boy is my email clogged. So I'll post that there with all my summaries for fics I need to post, and y'all can vote on what order they come up in!**

**So click that little blue button, and review with all your hearts and souls! Just kidding. That is not necessary. But I mean, guys and gals. REVIEWSH! :D**

**Ciao for now! Bye.**


	13. Ballroom Epilogue

**Epilogue! It's here! :3 :D**

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><p>The Great Ballroom was buzz with people everywhere.<p>

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><p>"Wait... You're sure that's him?" Toris watched the two people dancing. "That can't be him, he looks so not creepy-happy."<p>

"No, I'm like, totally sure! Ivan Braginski! But like why are we talking about him, I'm like really psyched to see you!" Feliks crushed-hugged Toris happily.

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><p>Kiku glanced at Feliks in the soul-killing pink, and shuddered. He turned to walk away, but bumped into something that meowed. "I thought the sperr was broken~"<p>

"It is." Heracles put his cat down and turned around. "I'm glad it is."

"..." Kiku nodded. "M-me, too."

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><p>The cat ran off, and was scooped up by someone else. "Ciao, cat! Do you like the party, too?"<p>

Lovino sighed. "Fratello, put the cat down."

Antonio's eyes gleamed. "Si. There are more important things to hold!" He shook Lovino gently.

"Bastard! Let go of me!" His face was red as the tomato he no longer was.

Feliciano put the cat down.

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><p>"Bruder! You're no longer a stick!"<p>

"You mean, ruler."

"Ah, like there's a difference." Gilbert grinned and looked around, suddenly noticing in the corner a nose-bloody girl and a pianist by her side. "Well, I'll see you later, there's some unfinished business I must take care of."

Ludwig was not forever alone, however. It was only a few seconds after Gilbert left that the space was occupied by a small Italian one. Ludwig smiled at the brunette. "Guten tag, Feli."

"Ciao, Germany." He was silent for a moment, and then it was clear why- he'd been thinking.

Standing on tiptoes, and then with a little jump, Feli managed to barely kiss his German's cheek, making Ludwig blush as Feli laughed and darted away.

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><p>Yong Soo was still adjusting to his legs, and he wobbled, then falling once again.<p>

"I guess clumsiness was invented in Korea too, aru." Yao noted dryly, watching his clumsy sibling.

"Hey!" He propped himself up on his arms. "That's the one thing that wasn't." He sniffed and walked away, leaving Yao smirking alone.

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><p>Francis squinted at his wineglass. "So we are human again, mon cher."<p>

"It would seem so," Arthur replied, examining his own flesh.

The Frenchman set down his glass and creepily laughed, whispering against Arthur's ear. "Shall we celebrate?"

"No, bloody idiot!" Flushing red, he looked away and Francis laughed more, taking Arthur hostage in his arms.

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><p>Ivan and Alfred were dancing. That was all. There were no words, and only between every song, a stolen fairy tale kiss.<p>

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><p>Yes, the ballroom was buzzing with people.<p>

And they all, lived happily, ever after.

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><p><strong>*dies* <strong>

**;U;**

**Thank you to all my wonderful readers, and all my marvelous reviewers. I'm giving you all a virtual cookie and tons of imaginary hugs. I loved writing this, and getting everyone's reactions was a blast. So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**And if you're in the mood, I hope you are, please do review one last time? I wanna know you're reaction. Hehe all my hinted epilogue pairings X3 sorry, Japanese Sinister, that the Poland/Lithuania bit was a wittle short compared to the others :/**

**Also! If you, yes you! wanna have a hand in deciding which of my stories I post next, then come to my page and vote. I have a poll! Which story should I post here next? They'll all come up eventually, but you, my friend, can decide the order by voting on which sound most intriguing. So thanks!**

**Ah, I hate finishing long stories like this. But in the spirit of Hetalia, let's end on a high note.**

**HASTA LA PASTA- LOVE YA! :D**


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